I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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