your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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