she woke up with a sticky ear
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
