Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i out mim tonsoeep
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