So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
