Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
