dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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