Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
