I looked at my own cervix.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
