I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
