"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
