think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I didn't notice because vodka
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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