i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
