My sheets look like a crime scene.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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