I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
