Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
