i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
