mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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