I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
