It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
