last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
