we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You were trust falling into bushes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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