So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
