it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
