I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
