The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
