If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
