Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
