There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
