He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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