i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
