you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm really busy with my period
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