I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
