Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
