well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You are a genius and a whore.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
