i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
