another moral hangover. fuck.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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