thus making me awesome and them whores
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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