That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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