Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
