i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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