i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
