I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
