is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
