she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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