"it" just moved
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
