I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
