hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
