so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
