Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
