I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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