Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
