i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
