he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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